Author: jenniferthebeholder

Often times you hear someone being asked what advice they would give to their younger selves.  I thought it would be an interesting exercise to ask the Perspectives Team what advice they would give to themselves.  In considering my own answer I realized that the advice that I would give to my younger self is the advice that I need to continue to live and follow still today.

I polled one representative from each age decade to see how they weighed in. Are we more alike or are we polar opposites?  Come with me to find out.

“If I were to give some advice to my younger self, I think it would be to not sit in a W because that now makes it harder for me to stay turned out in ballet.  It took me a really long time to learn to sit criss cross applesauce.”  ~ Caroline 10’s

“Given that I’ve only taken 20+ trips around the sun, I realize that I may not have the resume suited for lending advice. But time is a funny thing, and while I may not have more time than most, I’ve had many experiences that have helped me grow and evolve to the person standing in my shoes today. So, with that, here it goes….

Cristina, you’ll like yourself a lot at 29, and you’ll definitely be proud of who you are in this moment. I don’t really have any advice for you perse, but I will leave you with just three things; One, just start no matter what. Two, remember “everything you can imagine is real”. And three, ask your parents for fake glasses that actually HAVE lenses in them. Lensless glasses really just defeats the purpose.  🙂 That’s it. Love you little Cristina. I’m still working on making all of your dreams and wishes come true. Just know that you are who I continue to strive to be. ~ Cristina 20’s (https://www.spatialdwelling.com/) 

“Let go of your pride. There will always be someone better and more successful than you. Life isn’t a competition. Your pride can prevent you from experiencing some of life’s great joys. Don’t let it stop you from living your life and loving others for living theirs and enjoying their successes.” ~ Jackie O. 30s

“Advice I would give to a younger me…

I would tell her how important it is to listen to her gut instinct when she feels it. I have realized that it is, very often, spot on. (This is something I still struggle with and need to remind myself of now!) I would tell her to stop worrying so much about what other people think because in the grand scheme of things, being kind and focusing on being a good friend, person, wife, mother, and daughter is all that really matters.

I would actually tell the youngest version of myself that she has anxiety and that she needs to forgive herself for having those anxious feelings. That many other people have it too, it’s an actual thing and she’s not the only one who is weird or insecure. I would remind her to try as much as possible to live in the moment and really appreciate what she has right now.  Oh, and I would tell her to STOP laying out in the sun.” ~Jen 40s

“I would advise my younger self to enjoy the present.  Don’t worry about the past or fret about the future.  It only squanders the moment that you are in.  Life is always moving and if your head is in the past or future too long, you miss the present completely.  Life has a way of working out for the good if you just trust in your path and have patience when everything seems to be at a standstill.  Like jumping onto a moving carousel, sometimes you have to stand still for a moment to get yourself on the moving ride at the right time and in the right place.”  ~Jennifer 50’s ish (I’ll be 50 in January 🙂 )

“Unsolicited advice is criticism. So, younger self, I will not impart advice. I will tell you what you will experience. I also hope that when this 62 year old reaches 90 she will be as blessed by this journey we call life.

You will be fine. Life will surprise you and disappoint you, but always you will benefit from either experience. Hard times will reveal your strength, your heart, and your true friends. You are blessed with many loving people in your life, starting with your family. You will never be alone because of your faith. You will be supported and loved by an amazing husband.

You will have a beautiful, loving, and talented daughter who is the joy of your heart. Your son in-law is the son you never had and is perfect for your daughter. And at this point you are head over heals in love with your granddaughter who named you Yaya.

Although you will make many mistakes they have not turned into regrets. You will count your blessings, use your talents and gifts and try to love and bring peace along the way.

So, enjoy this blessed and wonderful journey. You will be more than fine.” ~ Barbara 60s

“I am thinking of my grade school years. I was quite bashful and only felt comfortable with certain kids in my class. I tried to teach myself to be more out going and to make more friends. By the time I got to high school I had made many more friends and, even to this day, I have so many dear friends. I went to a four year college studying to be a nurse. I quit college to marry my husband of 51 years; the best advice I ever gave myself.”  ~Peggy 70’s

“I have endless advice to give a younger self. Much is related to stupid stuff that I would learn shortly after I did that I’d never to do that again. Other things were harder to change like weight, raising kids, and the big ones, worry and fear.

Looking back at old photos of myself, I realize that I wasn’t fat at all. I really looked pretty good. I should have been realistic and never tried extreme diets that never had long lasting positive results and only left me with a lifetime of misery. While raising my children I was always hoping and praying that they would grow up to be happy productive adults. Some days I was blissfully happy at their progress. Other days I was sure they would never get along and would hate one another. I would now tell myself to chill out and be patient; that all will be well. That’s 20/20 hindsight talking.

Fear and worry is an on going trial. FEAR, an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real, and worry go hand and hand.  I’d advise myself to give it to God to handle in His own time. Definitely not easy….I seem to want to hold on a tad.  Surrendering myself was and is even now a work in progress.”  ~Temple 80s

****

In reading the responses from each participant, it was clear that each answer was to correct something that may still impact us today.  Themes of patience and advice to live in the moment also were reoccurring.  I also found it comforting that, like me, the others felt that they still needed to remind themselves now of the advice they would give to their younger selves.

We are heading into the New Year shortly.  As I’ve established previously in my January 19, 2017 post “Resolutions”, I don’t do resolutions.  But having gone through the exercise, I think one goal for the new year might just be to try to live my advice now.  Take the time to consider your own advice to your younger self.  Join in the conversation and add your advice in the comments.

I’m not sure if you have taken notice of the fact that I have not posted a new Guest in quite some time.  Although I loved the interview experience and being able to meet local businesses and makers, I found that the process of transcribing the interviews was just too time consuming for the payoff.  BUT, I still believe very strongly in the Guests that I have featured in the past and would like to continue to support them through my annual Holiday Gift Guide.

We all have a million and one people on our holiday shopping lists.  I have compiled some fantastic gift ideas for everyone on your list to help make this season’s shopping easier for you. From hostess gifts for holiday parties, to that impossible person to buy for, you’re sure to find something right here on the………………drumroll please………..  2nd Annual Jennifer the Beholder’s Holiday Gift Guide! (cue confetti cannon)

Happy shopping everyone!

ME! – I’m going to do a shameless plug of my new children’s book Are You a Baby Reindeer?  This makes a great gift for any little on your list.  Order yours at Amazon.com.

White & Red Works – Custom Furniture Maker – Jonathan has some beautiful custom wood cutting boards and charcuterie boards this year.  A fantastic gift for a couple or a SUPER hostess gift. –  www.whiteandredworks.com

Ocelot Brewing Co – Ocelot sells super cool 32 oz and 64 oz growlers. Drop by the brewery, order a flight and select your favorite beer to purchase to fill the growler. Makes a great gift for the craft beer lover on your list or a killer hostess gift.  They also carry an inventory of brewery merch.  Also a fun gift idea. Visit Ocelot’s brewery to purchase at 23600 Overland Dr, #180, Dulles, VA 20166. (Obviously, must be 21 years or older.)

Flight of Fancy LLC – Promise yourself a renovated furniture piece for 2019.  An awesome gift to give to your home.  Visit their facebook page for inspiration and contact information.  https://www.facebook.com/flightoffancyx2/

The Vintage Key – Super special handmade jewelry pieces. Excellent gifts for any of the ladies in your life and even the fellas. There are several choices of really cool cufflinks for the guys.  https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheVintageKeyByKama?ref=hdr_shop_menu

Shop Swatch Box – For the knitter or crafter on your list. Outstanding products shipped directly to you.  She often has boxes for kids too!  Choose from “knitting” themed boxes  (pictured) or “stitch” themed boxes.  Great as a one time gift, or a subscription with delivery throughout the year.  https://shopswatchbox.com/

Elizabeth Shaffner Design –  From stocking stuffers to a grand gift, Elizabeth offers her new jewelry line and her awesome magnets for stocking stuffers, to full art pieces for a very special someone. Access her wares at https://elizabethshaffner.wixsite.com/esdesign

Pure Love Macaron – Custom gift boxes containing this very special confection makes an outstanding hostess gift or teacher gift.  Looking for something just a little bit more?  Work with Kim to custom curate a gift box of macarons carefully paired with other goodies.   Or add a sophisticated splash to any party with a macaron tower. Macarons are made with organic eggs, sugar and butter. Limited time seasonal flavors like Peppermint Candy Cane, Pistachio, and a play on the popular Ferrero Rocher, of hazelnut and chocolate, are on the menu.   https://www.facebook.com/purelovemacs/

Sweet Pea Studios –  Congratulations to Sweet Pea Studios for 10 years in business!  To commemorate this amazing milestone, Sweet Pea will be offering Gift Certificates this holiday season.  For every $250 gift certificate purchased, Sweet Pea will gift you an extra $100.  Click the following link for details.    https://www.sweetpeastudiosva.com/northern-va-best-photographer-2018-annual-thankful-sale/?fbclid=IwAR3VmvSbte1ChLBDXoWX0AXGNmuJjpBL4-2EWcY9uJ2ePepCjN4deLZtxbs

T’Kila Latin Kitchen and Bar – Gift cards are available for dining at this great neighborhood restaurant. An excellent gift for a family, teachers and coaches or the mailman! Drop by the restaurant to purchase: 42010 Village Center Plaza #170, Aldie, VA 20105

Beyond the Barn Doors – Although they don’t have an online store, you can shop their Holiday Show November 29 – December 2 at Fairfax Corner this year in collaboration with Undeniable Boutique! Find fantastic home accessories.  Great gifts for the home interiors enthusiast and teachers.  You’re also sure to find a terrific house warming gift for anyone celebrating their first Christmas in a new home.  For more details go to Beyond the Barn Doors on Facebook.

BT Graphics’ Christmas book, The Other Side of Christmas – ‘AHA’ Christmas book you’ll FLIP OVER!

This  sweet book was awarded the Catholic Writers Guild Seal of Approval, and nine other awards.  For a sneak peek, check out this 15 second video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmbRp4GZ9h0&feature=youtu.be

If you are intrigued by what you see, click the link below for more details on the book and other flip over products:  https://animotionlogos.com/collections/frontpage/products/the-other-side-of-christmas-childrens-book

Acupuncture – As a gift?  Why not!?!  Give the gift of healing and relaxation.  Want to feel like you’ve just had a glass of wine without consuming the calories, then look no further. Contact Justin at vahealthyliving@gmail.com to schedule your appointment.  It’s an amazing way to reduce stress during the holiday rush.

Kathy G Designs – Spectacular holiday home décor. Excellent gifts for anyone who loves to add holiday cheer to their home.   Also fantastic options for teacher gifts! Visit and follow her FB page for daily deals and giveaways throughout the holiday season.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1994359934113298/

Stylist Kristal Eastman – Have someone on your list who would love a fresh new do in the new year? Visit LifeTime Fitness at 5900 Trinity Pkwy, Centreville, VA 20120 to purchase a gift card in the Spa.

Catoctin Creek Distillery – Visit the distillery at 120 W Main St, Purcellville, VA 20132 to sample and purchase a super fine bottle of spirits made right here in Virginia. Or, visit their website at www.catoctincreekdistilling.com to see other locations where you can buy their outstanding whisky. Makes a perfect gift for the cocktail lover on your list. Also makes a superb hostess gift.  Must be 21 or older.

Northern Virginia Style & Living Magazine – For anyone on your list who loves Northern VA and it’s fantastic culture, dining and entertainment. Go to www.nvslmag.com and order a subscription!

Jessica Monte Photography – One hour one-on-one field photography lessons for $99.  Or purchase a gift certificate during the holidays that can be used for headshots, family portraits, senior portraits, etc. Contact Jessica at:  https://www.facebook.com/JessicaMontePhotography/

Texas Trey’s Chips and Salsa – Don’t go to a holiday party empty handed.  And if you’re going to take chips and salsa, why not take the best chips and salsa.  You can purchase these tasty treats at Roots 657 located at 42301 Spinks Ferry Rd, Leesburg, VA 20176

Wellness 1st – Karie is accepting new clients at her new office! Anyone mentioning Jennifer The Beholder blog will get one FREE 30 min consult session at her new office. This special deal is good thru 1/31/19. Just mention Jennifer the Beholder to receive your free consultation.  Give the gift of health and wellness to someone you love or to YOURSELF!

Wellness first offers:

• Food Intolerance Testing – an easy blood spot test any age can do!
• The FIT Test – a patented, multi-pathway delayed food sensitivity test using new technology to measure both IgG and Immune Complexes; the most common food-related pathways in the body. This test measures sensitivities to up to 132 different foods and additives spanning all major food groups.
• Genomic Testing  – The most comprehensive nutrigenomics test available to validate your specific nutritional supplement needs. 

Check out Wellness 1st Cyber Monday deals and consider a wellness reset with a comprehensive program designed just for you.  2019 Goals!!

Contact Karie at: https://www.facebook.com/wellness1stnutrition/

Full Out Fitness –  Give yourself the gift of fun and fitness with a SMASH UP class!  A unique blend of cardio kickboxing and dance fitness.  And while you’re at it, take a friend!  Beat the holiday stress by sweating it out at Full Out Fitness.  Newly located inside: Club Ed in Sterling, Va.
21680 Ridgetop Circle St 100 Sterling, Va

 

Kira Luca – Original artwork is a very special gift and now you can get it at reasonable prices.  Visit the shop at https://www.kiraluca.com/shop/ to pick out something spectacular that will wow anyone on your list.

Roots 657 – Need a respite from your holiday shopping at the Outlets?  Visit Roots 657 at 42301 Spinks Ferry Rd, Leesburg, VA, for a delicious bite.  While there, peruse the market for all kinds of goodies just perfect to bring to a party, or create your own soiree.  Need a special dessert too?  Pick up a house made dessert to round out your trip.  This might just be one stop shopping.  Visit www.roots657.com to preorder Thanksgiving goodies or arrange for your holiday party catering.

Inn at Westwood – Give the gift of a get away.  Contact the innkeepers to purchase a weekend package or gift card for a great mini vacation in the scenic Orange, VA.  You’re welcome!  😉 http://innatwestwoodfarm.com/

Lou Lou Boutique / Zest Clothing & Co. – This is a no brainer.  Spectacular clothing and accessories for all of the ladies on your list.  Visit https://loulouboutiques.com/ and https://www.zestclothingandco.com/ for shop locations or to shop online.  And don’t forget to treat yourself to a special outfit for your busy holiday social scene.  My personal favorite place to shop for party dresses.

Creme de la Creme – And for the lover of European home decor, pay a visit to one of the Creme de la Creme shops for something unique and lovely.  Great pieces for anyone on your list or fantastic hostess gift ideas.  Visit http://www.shopcremedelacreme.com/ for shop locations.

Énergie Goods – Clothing and workout gear – Loads of opportunities to shop and save with Énergie!

Here are the holiday deals for Énergie Goods:

• Anyone who purchases during November will receive a $30 off purchase of $100 or more coupon to be used online only in December
• Every Friday there will be a featured outfit at a discounted rate with VERY limited quantities.  November – December
• Black Friday 11/23- All studio locations @pulseinferno @studiobepilates @dancingmindva will have a 30% off sale for anyone who takes a class that day.
• Cyber Monday– Surprise details!  Hop online and visit http://energiegoods.com/. 

DIY Scent Studio – Located at 4007 University Drive in Fairfax, Va, this sweet studio allows you to make custom bottles of perfume.  Concoct a scent that draws to mind a recent trip, or wonderful memory, or create something truly new and unique.  Experts are on staff to assist and guide you.  Gift cards are available.  Or fill one of the long days of the winter break from school with your friends.  It’s a sweet smelling way to spend time together.  Visit http://www.diyscentstudio.com/ to make reservation or inquiries.

Candy Drawer Confectionary – Well when isn’t candy a good gift?  Get sweet treats for everyone on your list.  Great stocking stuffers, hostess and teacher gifts!  Peruse their website for all of their to-die-for confections. (Pssst.  My personal favorites are the Chocolate covered Roasted Sugar Marshmallows.  Just sayin’.) https://www.candydrawerconfectionary.com/

Maison Warehouse – Home and holiday decor – Join Maison’s mailing list for event details and specials.  This shop has gobs of holiday gift options for the home interior lover.  Check out the gorgeous holiday tree displays in the shop at 21558 Stonetree Ct, Sterling, VA 20166

In-Store Holiday Event:  November 15 – 18 & November 24 – 25 – Chicks Picks by Hillary

Rhythm and Arts Center – Bring a friend to a free performance of The Nutcracker!  Sunday, December 9th at 3 pm at South Lakes High School:  11400 South Lakes Dr, Reston , VA 20191

Or how about the gift of dance lessons!!??  Go to www.rhythmandartscenter.com for details.  First trial class is free!

Also, see the Rhythm and Arts Center Dance Company perform in the Reston Town Center Winter Wonderland Parade on Friday, November 23.

Cancer is Ruff – The Holidays can be a rough time of the year for some people, particularly those battling cancer.  Consider this sweet picture book that helps to lighten the mood with endearing pictures of dogs exhibiting the difficult symptoms of cancer treatment.  Written by cancer survivor, Kathy Kupka, this book delivers light hearted acknowledgement of the fight.  Purchase your copy on www.cancerisruff.com.

Kathy Kupka Photography – Want a sweet holiday photo of your pup?  Kathy Kupka is offering photo sessions until November 24.  Book yours today.  For more information visit www.kathykupka.com.

River-Sea Chocolates – The most delicious single origin chocolate!  Made with love right here in Northern Virginia.  These spectacular chocolate bars make excellent stocking stuffers or purchase a tasting collection for a terrific hostess gift.  I bought a bunch of bars to give as teacher gifts this year!  As a special holiday offering, River-Sea is putting together two bar present bundles. These bars are something really special that you can taste in the very first bite.  Purchase yours at https://www.riverseachocolates.com/

Linda Hendrickson – Want a super special gift for someone on your gift giving list?  Consider a gorgeous piece of art.  Contact Linda at https://www.facebook.com/LindaHendrickson.Artist/

Java Jen’s Coffee Roasters LLC – Did someone say single origin coffee?!  Coffee is an amazingly versatile gift.  Great as a stocking stuffer, a hostess gift, teacher or coach gifts, the list goes on.  Give bags of beans or grounds, your pick.  And while you’re out shopping in Loudoun County, VA, keep your eyes peeled for their coffee truck and grab yourself a fabulously warm cup to stay off the chill.  Contact Java Jen’s at https://www.facebook.com/JavaJensCoffeeRoasters/

Voilà – Get help with your holiday decor or arrange to spruce up your home after you’ve packed away your holiday decorations.  You choose, but don’t pass up this great deal!  As a holiday promotion, Voilà is offering 20% off your first booking up to 5 hours. (Standard fee is $75/hr).  Contact Jodi at https://www.facebook.com/voilastyling/ to set up your session.

I hope that you have found this guide to be helpful.  Please be sure to drop a line in the comments when you find that perfect gift at one of my Guest locations or online stores.  Enjoy your shopping experience during the most festive time of the year.  And a little piece of advice….wrap as you go.  You’ll thank me later.  😉

You know when you’re a kid and you’re constantly telling your mom, “Look, Mom! Look what I can do!” “Hey Mom, LOOK!” “Mom watch me!” Although I may not actually remember doing this, I’m sure I did as I continue to live through three children saying, “Hey, Mom, watch this!”

When we are children, we usually have a very exaggerated opinion of our gifts and talents. But gift and talents, even in their infancy are just that; gifts and talents. We are so eager to show off our skills that it is sometimes a constant verbal assault upon….well…Mom (or whomever happens to be in the audience).

At some point in my life, I outgrew this phase and almost to the point of pulling a 180. That’s not to say that I was no longer proud of my gifts and talents, but I think I became aware of their true value in the context of just hanging with my mom. I think there also entered the ugly fear of failure and what failure actually feels like. The less attention I drew to myself, the less chance that someone will see that I can fail, will fail, or might fail. But again, I might have outgrown this phase, at least enough to be brave for this moment.

I’ve written in the past about my journey into blogging and writing. I still have NO idea why I thought this would be a good idea. I just knew that I wanted to do something. Something that would engage my brain and give me a sense of productivity that no load of laundry or evening meal prep could ever fill. My walk into this “career” has moved swiftly, but not too fast that I couldn’t keep up. I have been able to take each progressive step as they presented themselves and with little or no anxiety.  Winning!

Part of being a writer involves a lot of self promotion. I can no longer do my thing under the cover of nightfall. I must invite others into my professional world if I want to keep working in this capacity. It is a foreign process….self promotion, but a necessary “evil”.

So I have come full circle back to, “Hey Mom! Look at me!” It started with the blog. If I want readers, subscribers and followers, I have to be all…”Hey you! Look over here and read THIS!” It then moved to NVSL Magazine. Now, I was not only promoting myself, but a whole publication. This was easier! I was just a small part of a larger project, so…so, easier!

It was during an interview with the editor of NVSL Magazine that I went public with my desire to publish a book. This was a bold, BOLD move for me. I declared to the world (‘cause the whole world was reading this article….well, my whole world) that I had a goal for the year that I intended to reach. Uh oh.

Talk about scared. Now in fairness, the editor asked if she could share the information and I said, “Yes!” No one was more shocked than I. I was now accountable to all who read that article to make good on my goal intention. It became the center part of my professional life; birthing this little book.

Well, I am proud to say, that for the very first time in my life, I set a professional goal and actually achieved it! Keep in mind that this is a very different goal…not one for a promotion, or to win an account, or to achieve some quota, where someone above me determines my success or worth. This was creating something from nothing and following through to production.

It has been the very best professional experience of my lifetime. I created something….I developed it, and honed it, and grew it into something that was marketable; all while staying accountable to the public via social media. Good or bad, this thing is DONE! I couldn’t be more excited.

I’m excited to follow the process. I’m excited for my inaugural holiday season with this new little book and I look forward to planning a full marketing strategy for the 2019 holiday season. (Uh oh, did I just make another public pronouncement?!  ACK!)

Just in time for Thanksgiving and during this season of gratitude, I want to thank all of the amazing people who supported me along the way. I want to thank every single person who didn’t laugh or mock my idea to complete this project, every single person who encouraged me along the way, and all of my beloved cheerleaders. Although this was a solo idea, it was in no way a solo experience. I have met the most amazing talent along the way, who I lovingly call my dream team, and I cannot wait to work with these women again.

I look forward to watching to see how this sweet book progresses and I’m already penning my next story! So for posterity’s sake, “Hey Mom! Look what I can do!”

Purchase your copy today on Amazon.com.

The Holidays are upon us!  Whether we like to admit it or not, they are coming.  Some greet this time of year with excitement and verve and some approach with apprehension and dread.

I’ve asked 7 women to share their thoughts on this topic (7 because I am #8!  I always want to play too.)  I polled one representative from each age decade to see how they weighed in. Are we more alike or are we polar opposites?  Come with me to find out.

“I think holidays give you something to be excited for.  Like for example, especially when you’re a kid and you go to school, it’s AWESOME when school gets canceled because of the holiday.  But not just for that, also most holidays you get to spend time with your family and that means a lot to me.  Like you can have fun with your cousins, get to see your aunts, uncles, and grandparents and it’s just awesome.”  ~ Caroline 10’s

“Whenever the holidays are mentioned, I feel what is most often shared are fond memories, traditions, or the rush to get everything done. While all of those things hold value for me – I have fond memories of time spent with family, I do love traditions new and old, and I, the true procrastinator, am that person rushing to wrap presents the minute before my husband opens them despite vowing to get ahead of the game each year.

What I actually love most about the Holidays is all of the anticipation and excitement leading up before. For me, the holidays are an entire season spanning from October until after Christmas/New Years. I love all of the preparation, decoration, and planning that comes with each holiday. From costume planning for Halloween, to table-setting and food preparation at Thanksgiving, to gift shopping for Christmas. I love it all.

I love the whole change of tone the holidays bring. Everyone seems happy and excited. The whole city looks and feels different and I love it. It’s a hard feeling to describe but I think one that everyone shares. It feels like magic. Like butterflies in my stomach. Like something so exciting is coming but you don’t know what. I think it’s the time of year that you can actually feel happiness in the air.  I think that’s the best way to describe it. While this feeling is probably due to a culmination of all of the reasons people love the holidays – the traditions, time with family, memories, the rush – it is this feeling I love the most. ”     ~ Cristina 20s (Blog: https://www.spatialdwelling.com/)

“Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I love the hustle and bustle leading up to it, the decorations, the sparkle, traditions, the anticipation. I’d go so far as to say that I love the time leading up to Christmas more than Christmas Day.

After losing my dad in 2014, Christmas lost a little bit of its sparkle. He loved Christmas as much as I do and I miss the traditions that we used to do together as a family.

I’m looking forward to experiencing Christmas as a parent this year. My son was born just 4 days before Christmas 2017 so I am looking forward to seeing the sparkle of Christmas through his eyes this year and for many years to come.”  ~ Jackie 30s

“In preparation for this “assignment” over the past few days, I noticed that just thinking about the Christmas season makes me happy, and it’s not even here yet!  We were sitting in the movie theater and saw a preview of the new Grinch movie and it was an immediate warm and fuzzy feeling trigger for me.

I would definitely describe myself as Christmas-obsessed, in fact, I ordered another tree for our dining room just last week because, 1. my Christmas ornament collection is getting too much for the TWO trees we already have (one that is 9 feet tall!) and 2. I want us to be able to look at it during our Christmas dinner!

While I truly do love Thanksgiving, it is just a warm up to the season that immediately follows, and that is my very favorite time of year. (On a side note, one of the more non-traditional things we do as a family on Thanksgiving is have steak for dinner.  We realized years ago that we are not huge fans of turkey, so we, instead, have our own traditional Thanksgiving steak dinner which everyone loves.)  I love everything about Christmas; the decorations that take forever to put up but are so worth it when they are, the music – again, triggers my happy feelings (even in the commercials on TV!), and the gift buying – thinking of just the right gift for every person on my list and starting months before the big day, squirreling away gifts in the back of my closet.

I love the Holiday specials on TV, many of which we look forward to watching as a family. Every year I get another “family ornament” with our names on it along with a family photo ornament to hang on the tree.  We love looking at the ornaments as we decorate the tree, drinking hot cocoa and showing them to each other and saying, “Oh!  Remember this one!” as we take them out of the box. We make Christmas cookies in the days before Christmas and bake an apple pie, which is a family favorite.

I love looking forward to the Christmas break from school, when everyone is home and can relax and just be together. We go to church on Christmas Eve and then out to dinner, which has become a recent tradition. I love making our home and the holidays special for my family, having created the traditions that we now have and enjoy every year.  I hope my kids look back on these as special memories that they will always have in their hearts. To me, holidays mean family and there is nothing that gives me the warm and fuzzy feelings more than my family!” ~Jen 40s

“To me, “the Holidays” begin with Halloween.  We go all out in our household (at least on the inside of the house.)  I love creating a festive atmosphere for my family from the decorations and treats, down to the candles that I burn for each season, and the holiday themed shows and movies.  It kicks off my favorite time of the year where the emphasis is on giving to others and thinking of others.  I love the giant spark of creativity generated for Halloween in concocting fun costumes and decorations.

Thanksgiving.  Poor Thanksgiving.  It may as well be called First Christmas.  I mean, the commercials for Christmas start before Halloween.  And I for one, start my Christmas shopping in October for sure (Goal: Done by December One!).  I do enjoy Thanksgiving for it’s intent.  A time for everyone to take a whole day of gratitude.  To be thankful for all of the many gifts we have been given.  I find it remarkable that we live in a country that places value on that…well, at least once a year.  But is that how we actually celebrate it? I’m not quite sure.  The host jumps through hoops to create an extravagant meal that would actually feed the entire neighborhood, resulting in tons of leftovers or waste and loads of dirty dishes and clean up.  I find that there’s less focus on gratitude and more attention to football.  It definitely is lovely to spend the day with family and friends, but I’m just not sure I get it, even after all of these years.

The Mac Daddy for me is Christmas.  I loooooovvve the preparation for Christmas.  I love the shopping, the decorations, the music, the food, the sparkle, and the kindness that people tend to extend this time of year.  I love when people wish other “Merry Christmas”.  I love the anticipation of it all which, at church, we refer to as Advent.  It’s just a cozy time of the year and despite the frigid temperatures outside, the season warms me.  However, I really don’t like Christmas day that much.  All of the fanfare is over and we are left with a pile of scraps of wrapping paper, crushed up boxes, and big black trash bags.  The once festive house now resembles that cruddy black snow that we get the day after a beautiful snowfall.  And in my home, we have several family members that once they open their gifts, never touch them again.  It seems….sad.  But all good things must come to an end.  We need to spend the next 365 days gearing up for next year!

Lastly there is New Year’s Eve.  I have never been a fan.  I find it overwhelming to try to have the night of your life and the resolutions are always a disappointment.  I used to have an actual fear of the new year.  After my first child was born with a heart issue, and my father’s health, and my brother inlaw’s health began to decline, I began wanting to desperately hang on to the year we were in because we were all still together.  My father and my brother inlaw have since passed on, which forced me to face my fear of the new year.  January 1st is just another day.  No need for dread and it is quite nice to celebrate things, so I try to face the unknown year with a little less fear and a little more curiosity.

Overall, I adore the holidays.  My wish is for you to find joy in each holiday.  To have fun and make time to spend with those that mean the most to you.”~Jennifer 50’s ish (I’ll be 50 in January 🙂 )

“Holidays! Hallmark anyone? I just finished watching the first of many Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel. It’s October 26th!!

I am a holiday junky!  The time from Halloween to Christmas is my favorite time of year. Living in Florida, holidays help mark the seasons.  My memories of these holidays are precious. Each of these holidays, back in my day, you had to wait for.

The childhood freedom on Halloween! Trick-or-treating with pillowcases and blocks of houses; parent free. Thanksgiving! Just family, and gratefulness, and Macy’s parade. You didn’t start decorating, or thinking of Christmas, until Santa came down that New York Street.

Traditions and my faith filled my childhood with happy memories (back then we could even sing Christmas carols in public schools).  Traditions and my faith bound our family together.  I have had to learn not to hold on too tightly to traditions. In the 1980s, I got married and added my husband’s traditions to my own. When my daughter was born in 1989, the 90’s brought our own rituals and expectations. And once my daughter got married, and had her own daughter, once again we found ourselves adding new and lovely memories and traditions to experience.

I still embrace the holidays through the eyes of children. Being a primary teacher for 31 years helped me to keep a youthful heart. I love the expectations of each holiday and try to keep it simple and people focused. So, as I watch The Great Pumpkin to A Christmas Carol, sappy but loving Hallmark movies, and listen to Christmas music, I am grateful for my memories, my family get together‘s, and the anticipation of new memories and new traditions to come into my blessed life.” ~ Barbara 60s

“I am looking back at my favorite holidays with my husband and our four children. Starting with Easter; dying hard boiled eggs and hiding them the night before Easter. Making Russian Easter Bread called Buska. On Easter morning the kids would look for their Easter Baskets. The most important part was going to mass and thanking Jesus for dying on the cross.

The 4th of July: Celebrating the freedom we have in this great country. Honoring the people who died for this country. Going to North Dakota to celebrate the holiday with family and friends. Going to the 4th of July parade and watching fireworks.

Halloween. The kids getting all excited about going trick or treating. When we lived in St. Louis, the kids had to tell a joke and the person handing out candy tried to come up with the answer to the joke. My husband would go out with the kids and I would give out candy at our house. Halloween reminding us of All Saints Day on Nov. 1st and All Souls Day on Nov. 2nd.

Thanksgiving. Reminding us to thank God and the colonists who started this holiday. Getting the turkey and stuffing ready, and all the good side dishes, and of course pumpkin and pecan pies. We always had a relish tray and that was our appetizer. Playing cards and other games with the kids and watching football on TV. Needless to say we were  all stuffed at day’s end.

Christmas, the best holiday of all. Decorating the house, Getting a live tree and trimming it. Making Christmas cookies. Wrapping gifts and putting them under the tree. When we were at a Christmas party the kids decided to unwrap and rewrap their gifts. (Found that out years later.) We went to mass on Christmas Eve. The kids set the table for breakfast before they went to sleep. We opened our gifts early in the morning and the kids had fun with their new toys. Such good memories.”  ~Peggy 70’s

“When thinking about the holidays so much comes to mind…Holidays of the past, present and those that are almost forgotten. I won’t even tackle the new holidays I don’t understand.

My past holidays bring to focus the big four, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Easter. As years go by the most popular, according to retail, go back and forth between Halloween and Christmas. Thanksgiving has always been smothered between the big H and the big C.

Some less important holidays are Valentines Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, May Day, and all the prominent presidents and civic and religious leaders. Each one is popular as it usually gives most people a day off from work. My favorite as a child and the mother of my young family has always been Christmas with all its many traditions. I’ve even been guilty of making up a few new ones. I’m sorry about that.

For me, marching in the Memorial Day parade with my classmates, the Macy’s parade, and the rival football games at Thanksgiving are memorable from my youth.

Today, all of that has changed.  The death of my husband and having children scattered all over with their own traditions have created mixed emotions for me. Many people feel extremely sad with the holidays because of past experiences or a loss.  Hallmark fills an empty space in my soul and brings back, in a corny way, all of the traditions I hold dear.

I will always find great solitude in celebrating the true meaning of each one of the holidays I have celebrated throughout my life with those I love.”  ~Temple 80s

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In reading the responses from each participant, it is abundantly clear that the holidays bring about warm feelings for, and the desire to spend them with family.  If you are paying attention to the ages of each of the above participants, it is interesting to note the shift of the here and now, to the focus on the past and fond memories.  And it also seemed apparent that as the years advanced, there was also more focus on faith.

Although many agreed that the concentration of “The Holidays” is between Halloween and New Years, it is abundantly clear that Christmas is the the clear favorite.  I found it interesting that most loved the lead up to each holiday as opposed the actual holiday and was delighted that not one single person mentioned the receipt of gifts at all.  But the loss of loved ones seems to universally impact our impressions of the holidays.

The Holidays can truly be a magical time of year if you allow yourself to get caught up in the current of warmth, love, and happiness.  I wish this for all of you.  May you all find something to warm your heart this holiday season.

It’s been a recent dream of mine to travel to Charleston, SC. It’s a weird time in my life where my husband and I are actually discussing retirement options. Say WHAT?! Yes, it’s true. It’s not to say that we have never discussed retirement until now, but as our kids are starting to enter high school, the reality of where we would retire creeps closer.

Charleston, SC, came up as a place that I wanted to explore as an option. As luck would have it, my hubby had a business trip planned for this year, so I joined him there for the weekend prior so I could scout out this city’s potential as a future home.

What an incredibly charming city. From the brick crosswalks, to the flower filled window boxes, to the gas lantern lighting and the federal style architecture, the place oozed with charm. As a photo fanatic, each step was a head turner for another slice of eye candy to capture.

We had no planned activities except, of course, dinner reservations! The trip was meant for both of us to relax and just explore and see what we would see. We checked into our hotel near Marion Square. It was a terrific location. Not much of a water view, but perfectly situated for us to walk wherever the mood struck us.

We arrived just after Hurricane Michael came through and carried any type of bad weather away with it. The temps were terrific and nothing but blue skies for our weekend. It’s an incredibly easy walking city. Navigation is no problem, HOWEVER, ladies, take note of the time worn sidewalks that can snap an ankle if one does not pay attention (especially in heals!)

Our dinner reservations for the first night were at Charleston Grill located in the Belmond Hotel in the midst of the delightful King Street. King St. is loaded with shopping. You’ll find stores that we all know and love, plus local establishments that can hold their own with the big boys.

Charleston Grill delivered some of the tastiest cocktails that we have ever had. The bar area was gorgeously appointed and they even surprised us with a tasty amuse-bouche while we waited for our table. We were seated at an intimate table by the window overlooking the hotel courtyard. It was quite lovely. We opted for the chefs tasting menu paired with a spectacular bottle of white burgundy.  As they say in the south, Cheers, Y’all!

After our fantastic meal, we walked it off with a casual stroll through the city back to our hotel for a relatively early night. We are not party people and we had more than indulged at dinner.

The next morning we bee lined straight for the local farmers market set up in Marion Square across the street from our hotel. We enjoyed awesome breakfast burritos and took in all of the booths of food, local produce and products, and crafters. Before heading back to our room to regroup for the rest of our day, we grabbed some Starbucks. Yeah baby!

The goal for the day was to make our way down to the water by way of the famous Rainbow Row on East Bay St. But first a trip for lunch at a local Cuban restaurant called Cuban Gypsy Pantry Eatery on Calhoun Street. I suppose you’d have to classify this as a dive, as it wasn’t fancy in the least, but the food….!!!! The food was amazing. Luckily we were on foot for the rest of the day to walk off that delicious lunch that was almost impossible to stop eating. It was an easy walk to the water, full of quaint shops, historic architecture and amazing views.

I envy the people that live there to be able to walk that city every day. It is unique for sure. A combination of other places I have visited, but decidedly it’s own flavor. There was a little bit of Florida, a little bit of New Orleans and 100% Southern. It was heavenly during the day and magical at night. I couldn’t get over the number of church steeples in view and the mix of historic and new construction. And the water views filled with little sailboats….are you kidding me?

We made our way back to “our” neighborhood to check out a rooftop bar. Carolina Ale House did not disappoint. We sat at the bar and ordered from their impressive collection of beers on tap. We were surrounded by TVs everywhere, all playing college football, with different collage fans at each table. After enjoying a beer and the atmosphere, we headed back out to explore yet another part of the city; the restaurant district. This area had a plethora of super cool stops and every type of food one could want. After making a lap through that area we made our way home. We were exhausted from a day filled with walking (and beer), so we opted for dinner in. We grabbed take out from a local pizza place and headed back to our home base.

The next morning I walked to church. It was an OOOOLLLLDDDD school Greek Revival style church built in 1838, complete with paintings dating back to 1814 and most of its original architectural attributes in tact, or at the very least restored. Again, the church was an easy walk to and from our hotel. We opted to have breakfast at the highly rated crepe restaurant called Breizh pan Crepes just off of King Street. It was a delicious meal with great views of the street for people watching. We returned to our hotel to check out so that my hubby could check into his hotel for his business trip.

This next hotel, The French Quarter Inn, was located close to the water and it was spectacular. We were greeted with complimentary champagne while we waited for his room to be ready. The rooms were very large and were beautifully appointed. Not one detail was missed, down to the brass finishing on the corners of the large baseboards. It was love at first sight for this architecture nerd.

Alas, it was time for me to head home. Charleston, SC, was a beautiful host for the weekend and I cannot WAIT to go back. It’s southern charm and hospitality are notable and would make a great destination for any occasion.

I have found myself in an exciting situation. In this post I get to do a follow up piece on my previous Guest, Kim Moehnke of Pure Love Macaron. In last week’s post, I talked a little about how serendipitous my blogging experience has been this past year. My original article on Kim and her lovely business went live in July 2017 (Guest – Pure Love Macaron). As you’ll recall, again from last week’s post, I reviewed one of the restaurants covered in the cookbook titled Fine Foods & Favorite Restaurants of Northern Virginia that I collaborated on along with Cayenne Pepper Studio. This recipe book will also be featuring Kim! It was so amazing for me to get to tell more of her story in that compilation, which is due out in November. And most recently our paths crossed again when Kim reached out to me to cover an event and new business venture that she was launching. Well don’t mind if I do!

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Kim has collaborated with Sergio Mendes from The Ashburn Wine Shop, in Ashburn, VA, on the shop’s own next chapter of offering wine and small bite food pairings. The wine shop will bring in local chefs to create tasting dishes for guests to sample along with a thoughtfully paired wine selection. A constant on the menu will be Kim’s delicious macarons.

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I attended the inaugural event, as press, and was very much delighted by the fare for the evening. Kim and Sergio worked closely to create a divine pairing for the kick off. Kim is known for her creative and sophisticated flavor combinations and she stayed true to form. From pistachio, fig and goat cheese, to a whimsical waffle, maple and bacon, Kim concocted delectable bites perfectly complimenting the wine selections.

Be sure to put a tasting trip on your calendar for your next date night, girls night out, or corporate event. It’s a super tasty way to spend an evening, and something new and fun to do in Loudoun.

These tastings are just the start for Kim and her next chapter of business opportunities. You will also find Pure Love Macaron sharing retail pod space this year with the mobile boutique Nolly Pop in One Loudoun. You can shop the boutique and pick up some lovely treats as a gift or to sneak home and indulge just for yourself.

Also in the works for Kim in 2018 is her collaboration with AALead.org and their upcoming Gala. AALEAD stands for Asian American Youth Leadership Empowerment and Development. The organization supports low-income Asian Pacific young people with educational assistance, identity development, and opportunities to emerge as leaders in their community through after school and summer programs. Kim has the honor of providing the party favors for over 300 gala guests later this month. No doubt her creative flavors and impeccable presentation will be a shining example of her fabulous taste and elegant style.

This is my first opportunity to be able to do a follow up story on one of my Guests. It’s incredible to see the growth explosion in the works for Pure Love Macaron and I’m honored to be able to share it with you on Kim’s behalf. Be on the look out for Pure Love Macaron. Spoil yourself or someone else with a custom box. The opportunities for you to enjoy them are expanding!

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*Photos by Cayenne Pepper Studio

I’m not going to lie. Blogging sure hasn’t paid the bills around here, but what it has done is it has opened up a lot of really cool experiences for me in the past year. And this one is definitely one for the list.

As you may recall, I wrote a piece in February about a fantastic local food photographer, Sandrine Brubaker of Cayenne Pepper Studio:  https://jenniferthebeholder.com/2018/02/23/guest-sandrine-brubaker-cayenne-pepper-studio/. At the time, she was launching into a new project where she was polling the public, via social media, to get a list of favorite restaurants/chefs/dishes from local, Northern Virginia establishments. With that information, she was going to reach out to those who were nominated, interview them, have them create a dish or two, photograph the dishes, collect the recipes and put it all in one cookbook to be sold to benefit *The Tree of Life in Purcellville, VA.

I was so intrigued by this project that I reached out to San to learn more. Sandrine’s is a lovely story in and of itself. She has turned her gifts and talents into a successful photography business as well as using it as therapy to help her combat the mental fatigue of living with a chronic illness.

Well, because she was so pleased with the article that I wrote about her, she asked me to be the writer for her upcoming cookbook. How could I say no?! I loved this project, and getting to be a part of it was a gift for me. I don’t often find ways that I can give back to my community, but I can through writing. I appreciated the opportunity to do something for others outside of my kids’ schools and my own church.

Sandrine’s notes from her interviews with the chefs began coming in. I worked through them, did my own research, and put together each profile for the cookbook. The most historic site that she visited was The Ashby Inn in Paris, VA. She had loads of notes from the Executive Chef and there was a great amount of historical data that I could use to put together a nice bio. It was a great experience and I learned a ton.

One evening last month, I decided to rush out at the last minute to walk in for a manicure and pedicure at our local nail salon. They were booked at that time, but they asked if I could come back in an hour and they would stay open late for me to finish my services. Not really thinking, I agreed.

I returned later that evening for my appointment. While I was in my chair, they seated another woman right next to me. I’m a talker, but I try to be respectful of those who may not be or who just want some alone time, so I didn’t engage the lady in conversation.

I did, however, hear her say to her tech that she was sorry that they would have to stay late to work with her. At that, I chimed in and said, “They told me the same, so if we stick together, we’ll be fine.” A little polite giggle and end of conversation.

I moved on to have my nails done. At this point, the other woman and I were the only customers left in the shop. Only our two techs and the manager remained and it was getting late. They seated the woman right next to me. So we began to chat.

The standard…do you live in the neighborhood? What do you do?

Lindsay, as I came to find out her name, had worked for an international hotel chain for many years and had been living in Singapore until relocating back home to Virginia. Being from Charlottesville, she didn’t know very many people in the area. She had just purchased a home in Middleburg and was setting down roots here. Oh, and she was the General Manager from a little place called The Ashby Inn, had I ever heard of it?

Are you kidding me?! I was sitting next to the GM of The Ashby Inn. Sandrine was featuring their restaurant in the book! Uh, yes I had heard of it! I then began to totally geek out. We talked about all of the things that I had learned writing the piece for the book. I admitted that I had never been out to The Ashby and that my wedding anniversary was coming up. Maybe my husband and I would go there for our celebration. And that we did.

The Ashby Inn restaurant surely delivered. They offer a nightly chef’s tasting menu with or without wine pairings, and a vegetarian tasting menu, which I found fascinating and uniquely modern. You could also choose a 3 course al a carte menu. That’s where we landed.

The food was deliciously prepared. The presentation was picture perfect as was the service. The Inn is deceiving large. They have 5 dining areas, one being an ample outdoor area. We opted for an indoor seat (which bummed me out. I love to eat outside, but hadn’t come prepared with a jacket and this late September night was chilly ….for me.)

The building was constructed pre civil war and retained all of the charm one would expect would come with that era of architecture. In the room where we dined, there were brass nameplates above the tables. We inquired and learned that those plaques were earned by frequently visiting guests. These guests lay claim to their favorite table in this way. When they call in for a reservation, they trump any non-regular for their table. It’s quite a special way to repay returning guests for their repeat patronage.

I can’t say enough about the meal we had. Although Paris, VA, is about a 40 minute drive from our neck of the woods, it’s a drive through one of the most scenic routes in Northern Virginia of rolling hills, historical homes and structures, and glorious wide open horse farms. Go the other direction for 40 minutes and you will make your way into Washington, DC. But at The Ashby, you can enjoy a fabulous meal, with zero traffic and a no stress parking situation.

There’s a lot to take in from this post. My life as a blogger, thus far, has been quite serendipitous. I encourage you to look back at my article on Sandrine from Cayenne Pepper Studio and learn more about her and her cookbook project. Stay tuned about the release of the cookbook as a potential holiday gift as holiday shopping is ramping up. And please do yourself a favor and get yourself out to The Ashby Inn. If not to stay as an overnight guest, at least to eat at their spectacular restaurant.

Follow where your path leads you. You will meet fantastic people and it may lead you to your most delicious life.

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*The Tree of Life Ministries provides meals on the weekend to children who receive their meals from their public school.

 

It’s no secret that I struggle with Technology.  I joke (#therestruthinjest) that I have some sort of technology repellant that has been imbedded in my body as I often deal with techno failures that usually infuriate me.  I began to think, am I the only one?  What do others think of technology?  Is it the be all, end all, or is it the AntiChrist?  Or is it something in between?

I’ve asked 7 women to share their thoughts on this topic (7 because I am #8!  I wanted to play too.)  I polled one representative from each age decade to see how they weighed in. Are we more alike or are we polar opposites?  Come with me to find out.

“I think that there are some cases where technology can be helpful and some cases where it cannot be helpful.  Why I think it can be helpful is sometimes when I’m doing my homework and I have to research something, I can go onto Google and just research it.  Why I think it can be bad is because sometimes it can show me things I don’t want to see like a trailer for a rated R movie, something really scary, or something that is not kid friendly at all.   And that’s what I think about technology.”  ~ Caroline 10’s

“I’m a fan of technology. Maybe that’s a bias perpetuated by my experience or some algorithm, but either way, technology as a whole has aided my experiences.

For me, personally, technology has been extremely beneficial. I have a background in science/engineering and have worked in a lab or two, so I’ve seen, firsthand, how beneficial technology can be. In the form of new equipment that runs experiments faster or more efficiently, to new and innovative techniques that help you get a deeper understanding of a certain disease process. Technology can have a real impact on advancement in many areas.

I also recently started blogging this past year and have seen another way technology can be extremely beneficial. It has allowed me to connect with others I may have never met. I’ve been inspired by, collaborated with, and formed friendships that may never have happened. It’s amazing how distance used to prohibit connection. But now, distance is no longer a factor. You can connect with people all over the globe. It has created many new and exciting opportunities for me, personally.

Of course, I’m not naive to the changes evolving technology has brought. As technology has evolved we have seen apparent changes in communication, education, politicking, etc. The complaints and fears are real. Lack of social engagement because everyone is on their phones. Algorithms designed to cater to your previous searches to make your life easier have, in fact, reinforced biases and often led people to live in a bubble. People desiring to live up to social media standards. There are countless ways technology can cause significant impacts that are not always for the best.

I understand and empathize with these fears of others. With the changes that are hard to accept. Though, in my opinion, it is not the technology to fear but the intention. Intention is something we often overlook and is the reason it is so easy for technology to bear the burden. But if we really look into the root of all, it is the intention of use that really is at the heart of it. I believe that, with anything (not just technology), if your intention is out of love, out of goodness, out of betterment, then technology should not be something to fear. It is when the intention is out of fear, out of selfishness, out of hate, out of power, that is when we see misuse. That is when we see destruction and that is when we should fear. To me, it is not the technology to fear but the user.

As history (and biology) has shown, change is often a hard concept for humans. All technological advances, from the dawn of time, have come under some sort of scrutiny (and many times, for good reason). Maybe I am too optimistic about the subject, but, as a whole, I believe technology is good and can harness great changes and connections for the betterment of humanity. And I will continue to embrace it with caution because the users are only human.” ~ Cristina 20s (Blog: https://www.spatialdwelling.com/)

“I have an amazing love/hate relationship with technology.  As I sit here and write this, I’m currently without power for the second night in a row.  I’m absolutely humbled by how the lack of it can turn my life upside down.  Despite my careful meal planning, I had to throw it all out the window and resort to take out and peanut butter sandwiches for dinner since we cannot power our stove, oven, or microwave.  My 9 month old son is sleeping in the other room but I’m left with uneasy, new mom nerves without the video monitor that I am usually glued to.  It’s safe to say that we have become so dependent upon it that we’re suddenly crippled when we don’t have it.

Technology has done some great things.  I’m instantly connected to my faraway friends and family and can feel like I’m part of their daily lives despite the fact that I haven’t seen them in person in months or years. But there is also the negative side of technology, the time suck of getting pulled in only to reemerge hours later having done nothing productive with that time.  Sitting in bed next to your spouse only to realize neither of you have spoken to one another in you don’t know how long.  I guess it’s safe to say that technology is a necessity that when used carefully can be a powerful tool but should always be used in moderation.”  ~ Jackie 30s

“My thoughts on technology…the first thing that comes to mind is how technology has given our kids such a drastically different childhood from the one I had.  Kids today have everything at their fingertips.  I have recounted many times how when I was a child we had to wait an entire year to see The Wizard of Oz on TV and if you missed it, you’d have to wait another whole year.  No recording it, no watching it later, no fast forwarding through the commercials either! (GASP!)

In this age of instant gratification, I see how my kids never have the luxury of being bored.  They are never forced to use their imaginations to entertain themselves.

We also had the benefit of not having to be in constant contact with our parents.  When I was a kid, I could leave on my bike in the morning and be gone all day.  My parents had no idea where I was or who I was with, but they trusted me to be on my own.  I’m sure on some level that helped with my confidence and growing independence as I got older.  There was a freedom we had as kids in the 70’s and 80’s that kids today won’t necessarily get to experience.

When I think of how technology has enriched our lives in this day and age, I can list many examples.  I have the ability to stay connected with friends and family who live far away.  Simply calling someone on the phone no longer requires watching the clock and dialing the number “after the long distance rates go down” at 9 pm, then timing your call to make sure it didn’t cost a fortune!  I can keep track of people from many different periods of my life on Facebook, many whom I know I would have otherwise never reconnected with.

My life is undoubtedly easier with the technology we use every day in our lives.  I can order my groceries online and pick them up in front of the store.  I can order clothing and shoes from internet retailers and save us from having painful trips to the mall, dragging uncooperative kids along with me.  I can reach out and communicate with my kids’ schools and their teachers at a moment’s notice.  I can monitor their grades and see what we need to work on more at home.  The list goes on and on!

It begs the question, if our lives are so drastically different now from how I remember growing up as a kid, what will the world and technology in our lives be like 20-30 years from now?!” ~Jen 40s

“Although I definitely appreciate our modern conveniences, I still struggle with technology failures and how dependent we have grown on it for social interaction.  I think my favorite thing in my life after my family, my cat, and my bed, is my iPhone.  It is my entertainment, sometimes my workspace, and my chief means of communication.

Being a young child in the 70’s, I quickly began to understand that once a gadget stopped working, it was done for.  I often times struggle with getting technology to respond to me in the manner of my choosing.  I am the vampire girl who cannot be detected by the self check out machine at the grocery store.  I am the person who the fax machine will not work for until I leave the house.  (I have witnesses!)  And we all know this only happens when I’m in an extreme hurry.

But as a mother of one Millenial and two of whatever generation came after, I see the serious deterioration of the social skills of my children.  It’s of epidemic proporsions.  My teenagers have no concept of how to communicate with others nor any confidence in doing so.  How will this translate to interpersonal relationships as they move through their teens and into their 20’s?  How in the world are they going to be able to get through a job interview?  Cyber relationships do not provide the human contact that we must have as a species.  It’s very scary to me.  I worry that they will live lonely lives because they do not know how to build relationships.

These bad habits seem impossible to break.  I don’t see an end in sight.”

~Jennifer 50’s ish (I’ll be 50 in January 🙂 )

“It’s funny, but the first thing that I thought of when thinking about technology was Siri singing her silly song about technology.  Quite a catchy tune and spot on lyrics.  As a child, The Jetsons, Lost in Space and the 1964 World’s Fair in New York were my first experiences with technology.  I was awed by it.  Then came the space program.  Mind blowing!

I’ve always associated technology with the future.  I must admit, I am just as hooked as the younger generation.  It has made my life easier.  But I do long for a time when we were more connected person to person, not via text.  Holding hands instead of phones. Making eye contact with people as you pass instead of heads down and earphones plugged in.  I am inspired by how it has such potential for good when reading Abundance: The Future is Better Than You Think by Peter H. Diamandis and Steven Kotler. Technology has changed us.  However, I must admit that it scares me as well.  As much as it can produce good, the evil and danger it can do if not kept in check is frightening!

So, as a person of hope, I believe in it’s ability to help make this world a better place.   I am grateful for FaceTime as a grandparent, and having family so far away.  And I pray that it will not do us harm.

Oh, by the way, I had to write this down with a pen before I could email it using the dictation.” ~ Barbara 60s

“As I have aged, I realize how much easier my life has been in comparison to my mother. I no longer have to defrost the fridge, clean the oven, or spend a whole day using a wringer washer to do the laundry and I don’t have to hang it outside on the clothes lines.  I am not a big fan of new gadgets, namely rumba vacuum cleaners, iPhones, electric cars, or driverless cars.  I do like my kindle for playing games and emailing and I do like my Alexa.  I guess that I am still a little old fashioned.”  ~Peggy 70’s

“I lived in the era of wringer washers, clotheslines and ice boxes.  When I got married I had a scrub board, a refrigerator, a record player and a TV.  Now I have a dishwasher, washer and drier, microwave, cell phone, and computer with internet.  All in the space of 84 years.

Am I happier?  In some ways, yes.  All of that expensive stuff was supposed to give me more leisure time..NOT.  In some ways it has … making long distance communication much better, but the cost is losing the warmth of face to face communication.  The ability to reach out to hug and comfort another human being.  I may have saved time with laundry, but used the saved time to talk to a non human person on the phone only to be directed to the wrong department.  All that so called leisure is usually spent in frustration.  If it was laundry day that is pretty much all I did.  Now I cram a dozen things in that small space of time.

Technology was intended to improve the human condition, especially in medicine.  New and far fetched cures are promoted so often no one is sure what is hurtful or helpful. That is one of the many downsides to technology.  It can be used for malicious reasons.  Fear is surrounding it, especially when greed is involved.  Cyber bullying, identity theft, etc, is waiting every time you open your computer or pull out a credit card.

I’m using technology with respect and I am getting along today.  But no idea what’s ahead in the future.  God bless us all!”  ~Temple 80s

****

In reading the responses from each participant, it’s clear, at every age, that we all have become dependent on technology to assist in day to day activities and chores.  As a whole, we all appreciate the elimination of distance as a barrier for communication.  But I noticed a trend, as the participants got older, the actual fear of the repercussions of our obsession with technology for future generations.  With the exception of the very young, it was apparent to all that although communication with faraway friends and family has improved, the communication with those we live around day by day and minute by minute has deteriorated. At every age represented here, there was an appreciation for technology in general, but also healthy dose of fear.

1% of nothing is nothing. It’s a universal truth. If you have 1% of nothing, then you have nothing. So if that is true, then the opposite of that must also be true. 1% of something, then is something! But really? Is it really something? Ask a 30 year old woman who found her first gray hair, or a 15 year old boy who found his first chin hair! They will tell you. 1% can actually be something! We can see that relativity and perspective come into play. We could just leave it as 1% of something is something and be done with it, but our human brains, emotions, and intellect suggest otherwise.

If I told you that you had a 99% chance of winning the lottery, you would play. Of course you would. But if I told you that you had a 1% chance of winning that lottery you probably wouldn’t. You still have a chance of winning, but here is where intellect weighs in. Your choice, when it comes to playing the odds can definitely just be a numbers game. Where is the threshold of those percentages when it comes to choices and decision making? Is it 90/10? Is it 80/20? Those seem to be fairly easy. But what if it was 60/40? Now you’re a breath away from what a friend of mine called a coin flip. Heads you win. Tails you lose.

Here’s where I think numbers are no longer the leading factor, or at least cannot be looked at in a vacuum. What if your odds of getting the lead role in a major motion picture was 60/40. You’d try out, right? I mean, you virtually have a 50/50 chance of getting the part! It could be the choice of a lifetime! What if your odds of burning down your house by leaving a candle lit were also 60/40? You’d probably not take the chance and would blow the candle out before leaving the house.

This time we see that circumstance factored with the numbers plays a role in helping us to make decisions. But it’s not always that simple. There’s also the element of emotion and faith. I am a religious person, but you may not be, so faith for you may simply mean faith in yourself to be prepared, and do your homework so that you can nail that job interview.

Bear with me with some more religious examples, if you will. I promise they are not too painful. Are you like Abraham, who through blind faith was willing to sacrifice his son as a sign of obedience? Or on the flip side, are you more like the hiker begging for God to save him, but doesn’t have enough faith to cut the rope? Do you know these stories?

Here, let me just catch you up really quickly.…..

Abraham was told by God to bring his only son to the altar to be sacrificed. Abraham obeyed. Brought his son to the altar, even made him carry the firewood, and was prepared to slay his son in obedience. But God, seeing Abraham’s willingness said, “Yeah, nevermind. You’re good. Thanks for playing and obeying. You win!” Son was saved (but probably really pissed.)

The other story goes like this….

There is a hiker who is looking to make camp and it has already grown very dark. He loses his footing and falls off a cliff. After falling and falling for what seems like forever, the rope he was carrying catches in the face of the cliff and jerks him to a stop preventing him from hitting the ground. It’s pitch black by this time and he has no idea how far he has fallen, or how far down the ground is. He calls out to God, “Oh God, please save me!” A whispered voice returns to him, “Cut the rope.” He ignores the voice. That’s crazy! I am not cutting the rope! The temperatures began to drop. The hiker calls out again, “Oh God, please save me!” Again he hears the whisper, “Cut the rope.” The hiker thinks there is no way in hell that I’m cutting this rope. It is the only thing that is saving me and keeping me from plunging to my death.

The next day, the rangers discover the hiker suspended from his rope.   He has frozen to death over night. They proceed to cut his body down just 5 feet from the ground.

Ok, do you have that blind faith of Abraham or are you more like the hiker? In Abraham’s mind he had 100% chance that he was going to have to kill his son in order to remain obedient. In the hikers mind, he had a 50/50 chance of cutting that rope and continuing to plunge to his death. God did not tell him cut the rope and you will have a 100% chance of survival or even a 90% chance.

So here we are. Now the numbers, and the circumstances, and faith are all throwing their hands in the mix. So let’s go back and look as some situations. The lottery again. What would be your threshold to play? 80/20? Would you play at 60/40? What about applying for a job? At 60/40, would you send your resume? Now what if it was cancer. 60/40. Do nothing and there is a 40% chance that you will develop cancer. Would you play? Would you cut the rope?

On the eve of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I honor all of the women who have suffered from this horrible disease.  I honor all of the women who have suffered through the choices that they are forced to make.  And I honor all of the husbands, families and friends of these women for enduring the potpourri of emotions right along side.

If you haven’t already, schedule your mammogram.  Take care of your “girls”.

I’ve been writing this blog for over a year now. Early on, I would write about local (and sometimes not so local) entrepreneurs and creatives to get their perspective on what they do and why they do it. I’m fascinated by their guts and bravery to chase after a dream especially when the dream has components that just aren’t that exciting or perhaps are even risky.

I’ve also written a lot about my perspective on travel destinations. From a European vacation to the Caribbean, and the West of the US, I’ve shared each trip with you. Sometimes in great detail and sometimes just as an overview.

I’ve shared my perspective on color, design and…um…scented candles (#truth). But I found myself recently wondering how my perspectives measure up to others. I’m not talking about right and wrong, I’m talking about differences and similarities. So I’ve decided to run with this pondering and pilot a new segment called “PERSPECTIVE”.

In these posts, I will share with you a single topic, but from the perspective of women from 10-80 something and every decade in between. I’m excited to see how different we are. I’m equally excited to see how alike we are. I think that there is so much value in hearing from all ages. “From the mouth of babes” is for real. And I want to especially consider the perspectives of our more mature members of the group. Each person’s perspective is colored by their history that they have earned or that they lack!

I will caveat this whole project by saying that this first collection of women are not random people. They are my people. People that I know, people that I may even be related to, but ladies that I have a relationship with in some manner. Remember, this is just a pilot. I’d love to have women from all demographics participate. That is what the comments are for!!! Don’t be shy.

And fellas, I am not excluding you here. I just wanted to have some controls in place for the initial group. I look forward to getting the menfolk involved for future topics.  And guys, please don’t hesitate to chime in with your two cents.

There is so much to be learned from one another. My hope is to open minds and hearts with this little experiment. Wish me luck, and please, feel free to share your perspective.