Resolutions. Even the word sounds daunting and commanding. Or more like bossy, right? ResolUtion. See that big U in there? A coincidence? I think not. Which is why so many of us hate resolutions. You are the center of that resolution. You are the creator, you are the implementer, BUT you are also the beneficiary. There may be some residual or collateral goodness that befalls those in your circle, should you resolve to fulfill your resolution, but the primary benefit is to you and you alone.
Likewise, it is only you who suffers if your resolution is not fulfilled. And there in lies the rub. I think most are more forgiving to others who disappoint us. It’s easier. We’re almost used to it. We can chalk up their wrong doings or thoughtlessness to their nature, or their upbringing, or their busy schedule. But when faced with disappointment from OURSELVES….how could we?
How could we let ourselves down…again? Don’t we know better? Weren’t we raised better? Don’t we CARE? Of course we do. Which is precisely why a lot of us, and when I say ‘us’ I mean me, don’t make New Year’s resolutions any more. I have a plethora of disappointments in my life from all sorts of places. Why on earth would I add myself to the list? I have failed at my resolutions my whole life, so I’M OUT! And let’s face it, I can disappoint myself daily. Why do I need to make a declaration to the world of my impending new failure. It’s just silly.
But in all seriousness, goal setting is good. It’s an incredible habit and tool for all of us to incent ourselves to make changes. I think the problem with New Year’s resolutions is that they are too big. It’s just too big of a declaration. I’m going to lose 50 lbs in 2018! I’m going to start that business that I’ve always wanted to start in 2018!
Let’s take 01/01/year? – 12/31/year? off the table. Don’t pressure yourself to start moving toward your goals on January 1 in the mad dash to get it all put to bed by December 31. It’s just too much. Here’s a crazy idea. You can start working toward your goal on March 8. And you know what’s even crazier about starting a goal on March 8, 2018? It’s a THURSDAY!!! I KNOW! (If you suffer from OCD, I suggest slow, controlled breaths in a paper bag.)
My point is, don’ t beat yourself up for not creating a New Year’s resolution. Don’t beat yourself up for finally realizing that you are not good at keeping your resolutions. The truth is, we can work toward our goals every single moment of every single day by the choices we make. Does eating this cookie get me closer to my ultimate goal? Does watching this tv show instead of cleaning out my closet get me closer? Does going shopping instead of spending 30 minutes researching get me closer? These are the choices I’m talking about. So I say, forget New Year’s resolutions. But I challenge you to look at your goals in terms of a lifetime and take a step in the right direction every chance you get. Even if it’s a Thursday.