Evolution

Did you ever think of your life in terms of evolution?  I never have.  Heck, up until recently, it seems the only thing that ever evolved in my life was the size of my jeans. But I’ve taken notice of a definite change in myself. This change began happening after I started writing.  It’s been a terribly interesting, eye opening, and exciting time of evolution for me.

I have always been a creative person, but interestingly, equally right and left brained.  I used to view this duality as somewhat of a hinderance.  I wanted to throw my whole soul into creative endeavors, but my pragmatic side kept me chained.  My left brain would argue that I needed to maintain a hold on responsibility and “reality”, but my right brain would be left aching, as would my heart a little bit.

As most teenage girls, I loved fashion.  I even went to college and earned my bachelors of science in Clothing and Textiles.  I was going to design wedding dresses.  (Step aside Vera Wang, I’m coming for you.)  But as graduation approached my left brain said, “Girl, you’re going to starve.  One step at a time.  Get your foot into the fashion world and then see.”

I did that.  I worked for an amazing high end running and cross training apparel company right after college.  Ok, so it wasn’t high fashion, (it wasn’t even formal wear) but the company had an impeccable reputation, produced top quality garments, and I learned a ton.  It only took a few trips to the fabric store with some of our design and development girls for me to realize that I had no business in fashion.  My true love was interior design.  We would go to look at fabric and they would say, “Oh look at this fabric!  It would make a beautiful ball gown.”  To which I would reply, “It would make a beautiful chair!”

True love and passions have their way of badgering people.  I moved on from that company and took an admin job until I could figure out how to change my life.  Any extra money I had, and believe me, there wasn’t much, I spent on my living space.  I’d make EVERYTHING. Shower curtains, duvet covers, I’d paint feature walls (even in my rental..shhhh!).  I’d buy special carved chopsticks and pretty pieces of pottery, anything that would enhance my home.

Home interiors became my muse.  I thought about it constantly.  I watched interior design shows endlessly, studying and learning.  I read and read and read.  Learning as much as I could.  Implementing as much as I could.  I even thought about going back to school for Interior Design, but guess who stepped in?  My dang left brain.

Years and years and years of this obsession played out all while I was starting my young family.  Responsible and overworked and exhausted, I couldn’t wrap my brain (my left brain) around how I could possibly go back to school.  But I kept going, dabbling in my obsession.  I tried to make a go of a career in interiors, but I just couldn’t get it off the ground.

And then…..

The truth is, I cannot pinpoint what happened or how I ever came up with the idea of blogging.  Neither my creative right, nor my bossy left brain understands technology. I knew I wanted to make a difference in my community by sharing the plethora of amazing businesses in our area.  But blogging?  Me? But here I am.  And this is a brand new, fresh and exciting obsession.  I love to write!  Who knew?!  And the seriously interesting part is that I’ve sort of lost the capacity and desire for interiors!  No one is more shocked than I.  Sure, I still have my favorite designers that I follow on Instagram, but instead of wanting to create my space myself, I’d rather just have them do it.  I’m busy.

It’s sad in some respects to see that old dream folded up neatly in my past, but I couldn’t be happier in my new life.  This new path of mine is perfectly suited for my crazy brain.  The left side of my brain sees the structure and dedication that it takes, all while my right brain enjoys stretching it’s creative legs and appreciates the serious evolution that my creativity has grown through.

A little self reflection and you might see an evolution in your own story.  It may not be a dramatic shut down of one skill giving way to the birth of a new one, but it is what it is.  Some might just call it growth, but what if it’s really more than that?